Chelsea Karioke for Sheva.

[hanuma]

Sheva's first lessons in Chelsea and English
Sunday, Jul 30, 2006

Andriy Shevchenko is learning the ways of Chelsea and the English approach to football very quickly. He has had no choice.

He has already stated he would like to speak the language well in three months. His 20 months old son, Jordan, is picking up English and Italian now.

In Sheva’s very first training session, which was divided into groups, he was put with a collection of English players. Being with John Terry, Frank Lampard and Joe Cole was one thing, but imagine what it was like for him and the youngsters that Jimmy Smith, Michael Mancienne, Ryan Bertrand and Michael Woods were in the group too. Everyone was paid proper respect by everyone else. It was a special moment.

His ambitions couldn’t be clearer. On his first Chelsea TV interview on the trip, he attempted to speak English at the beginning. Ever since meeting his American wife when she was working in Milan, they have holidayed for a month every year in the USA. English is his way forward.

His first press conference was a different lesson in Englishness. Here was one of the best strikers in the world, arguably the best, being introduced to the English media for the first time, but the debate got bogged down not on football, but on the problems that might be caused in the dressing room by his relationship with Roman Abramovich.

He stressed that it was a professional relationship, but the subject would not be dropped. Question after question about Abramovich was fired at him. It wasn’t the game-of-football obsessed Italian media that he is used to.

His big moment of his new way of life came on Saturday evening. It’s long been a Chelsea tradition that people new to the group have to perform a song at dinner. Dennis Wise used to host such events. These days the hosting is done by the unique masseur Billy McCulloch, who is a very good masseur but whose crazy entertaining style has been used as a ‘group binder’ for several years now.

John Terry revealed in Saturday’s press conference that Salamon Kalou’s singing efforts were shocking. In fact, the new striker sang Ivory Coast’s World Cup song.

Sheva had the opportunity to practice for longer. He was given more time than others. When finally he performed, knowing he would stimulate either a clap-along or have to avoid the projection of serviettes and bread rolls, he sang ‘We Are The Champions’. He got jeered and ducked projectiles. But then there were calls for more. He repeated the first line of the chorus. He ducked more jeers and projectiles. He may be required to do his turn properly again.

Andriy Shevchenko thus completed his first lesson in Chelsea and Englishness.

Would love to see Michael Ballack having to do it.

[Mr Brightside]

I must admit that this is a great team bonding idea.